Ruin
by EdgyFirebender
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple walk to clear his mind. He didn't expect his life to be ruined in one night. Trigger warnings ahead! This story deals with some sensitive topics, proceed at your own caution.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This story deals heavily with the topic of rape, featuring a graphic rape scene in the first chapter. As well, there will be other potentially triggering content down the line, so proceed at your own caution. You have been warned.

It was eerily silent. The soft glow of street lights casting looming shadows on the walls, the cool night air sending a shiver down his spine. It was almost like walking in a ghost town, not that he minded. The silence was welcoming, he could focus easier. Listen to the sounds of his drumming footsteps, or his soft breaths. Anything to clear his head.

Work stress had begun to grow, too much to do, nothing going anywhere. He needed to take some time, clear his head, figure something out. Return in the morning with a clear plan, get something productive done. The was a loud hoot and he turned his head to look up, spotting the glowing eyes of a catowl on the roofs opposite. He should work on things one at a time, stop taking on multiple tasks at once, sort out the simpler stuff, get them completed before moving onto the meatier tasks. The catowl flew off, disappear into the night with a rustle of feathers, it's hoots growing distant. He had a domestic abuse case, maybe he could work on that, it shouldn't take too long.

He rounded the corner of the street, crossing the empty road, the wind nipped at his face. Then he could move onto the satomobile theft, get that done, all he'd have left was the murder case. He smiled to himself. The first two cases shouldn't take him too long, he'd be onto the exciting stuff in not time. He wouldn't have to worry about the Chief pressing him for deadlines as much. Maybe he'd get some free time for once, he could hit the gym, or go visit Wu, maybe check up on his family. That'd be nice.

He paused himself. He should probably head back. He needed to sleep and it was who-knows how late. He turned in his tracks, pulling his jacket tighter around himself. It was getting cold. The dull gold of the streetlights seemed to have dimmed, although it may have just been his imagination. He hadn't been paying much attention before, it probably was. The shadows seemed bigger too, cast up the walls menacingly. He remembered fearing them when he was young, scared that they'd attack him whilst he slept. Their shapes flickered as he passed, his own shadow adding to their menacing illusions. Were he still a child, he'd probably be scared now. But he knew better. Shadows couldn't attack him.

They seemed to move out of the corner of his eye. He was growing tired, it was probably the fatigue, his eyes playing tricks on him. He was the only person out. They couldn't have moved. He picked up his pace, turning into another street. The echoing silence filling his ears. Maybe detective work was starting to make him paranoid? He should ask Lin for holiday leave, maybe a bit of relaxation could help.

He was grabbed, a strong arm wrapping around his torso, hand across his mouth muffling his startled yelp. He flailed, panic consuming him, kicked backward. A loud curse. He slipped out of their grip. _Run_. He stood frozen. _Run!_ He couldn't, earth had managed to snake it's way up his legs, locking him in place, the tight panic in his chest invading his lungs. His fists flickered with the same bright flame of his fearful eyes, he was trapped. _Do something dammit!_ He could fight. Maybe his fire could scare them off? He doubted it. They already had the upper hand, he had no mobility, he couldn't move.

His earthen prison was slowly creeping up his body, extinguishing his flame. He willed himself to control his breath, calm himself down. This guy probably just wanted money. The moment he saw there wasn't any, he'd leave. Right? "You're a pretty little thing, aren't you?" He tensed completely, the feeling of hot breath in his ear, mingled with the scent of alcohol. A drunk. Wouldn't listen to reason. He wracked his brain for options, feeling a hand grab his face, caressing his jawline. A soft hum. "Such a pretty boy."

His eyes widened in realisation. _No!_ He struggled, doing little to free himself. Jerking away from the mans touch, he felt sick to his stomach. _This can't be happening._ His mind swayed as he was struck round the head, blinking rapidly in attempt to regain himself, his vision swam. He felt himself collide with the ground, a dull pain stretching up his side. _Get up!_ He tried. He tried desperately to pick himself up, fight back, do _something_.

The earth had locked itself round his wrists, pinning him to the ground. He could feel the man behind him, watching his desperate struggles, probably growing excited. His stomach lurched at the thought. He could feel the mans hands on him, exploring his body. He struggled to breathe, to move, to do anything. He hoped someone would come along, find them, prevent this from happening. He could barely force a word out, his throat seemed to have closed up completely in his panic.

He could feel the hands pulling at his trousers. He kicked out, thrashing, trying to get him off. He was pressed further into the ground, hands held tightly on his hips, nails raking him. His eyes and lungs were beginning to burn as his lower body was stripped, hands caressing the places he didn't want to be caressed. _Fight back!_ He was scared, terrified. This was happening and he couldn't do anything to stop it. A silent scream left his throat as he was violated, he could feel the tears streaking down his face, falling into his mouth. It hurt, spirits, it hurt. Like he was being torn apart from the inside, burning from the inside out.

He didn't know how long it continued. He didn't even notice that he was alone once more, left in a heap on the ground. He needed to get up. Go home. Clean. He managed to push himself up into a kneeling position, his thighs were caked with bruises and blood. He doubled over, vomiting onto the pavement, feeling his insides recoiling in horror. He stood, pulling his clothing back on, feeling the dripping begin to run down his legs, staining his trousers. His legs felt like jelly.

He hugged the wall for support on the way back, it was difficult to walk. Down there still _hurt_ so much. He could hear the ragged gasps of his breath, the soft click of the lock as his door opened, limping into his apartment. He needed to shower, to clean, get this filth off him.

The shower burnt his skin, but he didn't care. He reached for the soap, scrubbing himself raw, watching the red-tinged water swirl down the drain. He let his head rest against the wall as his shoulders shook with sobs. Curling into himself, hugging his knees to his chest, feeling the water drum down on him. He could still feel hands on him, resting on the bruises, caressing his skin with a burning intensity. Still hear the whispers, smell the alcohol on the breath.

The feelings still lingered long after he'd gotten out of the shower, seated on his couch, hands wrapped around a mug of tea. He could see the shadows creeping up his walls, even as he stared blankly ahead into nothing. He should get some sleep. Forget this ever happened. Cover himself in so many blankets that no-one would be able to touch him again. He should sleep.

The moment he close his eyes, he could see the man, his shadowy figure standing over him. He drew his knees up, sobbing into them as the uneven breaths wracked his body once more, the same constricting fear wrapping itself around his mind. He couldn't sleep. He _wouldn't_ sleep, he was too scared. Scared of it happening again, of seeing him again. He'd stay awake. And then in the morning, he'd go to work. And he would be fine. Because he would forget about it by then. He needed to forget.

AN: This is most definitely the darkest thing I've written yet. Came completely out of the blue as well, so I'm not 100% sure where I'm going to go with it either, guess I'm just gonna have to improvise.

Anyway, I hope you managed to enjoy this, even if it was disturbing and incredibly dark, even for my standards.

Reviews aren't necessary, but I would appreciate them as they help me know you enjoyed this and would like to see more down the line, so please drop a review if you enjoyed this.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thank you for the nice reviews everyone! I'm glad you've enjoyed it. This next chapter is completely improvised, since I've yet to figure out a clear plot. Even so, trigger warnings still apply- This story deals heavily with the topic of rape. You have been warned.

He didn't know just how much coffee was in his system by the time he was meant to be heading off to work. He didn't even know if it was healthy to be drinking that much. Of course it wasn't healthy, none of this was healthy. Starving himself of sleep wasn't healthy. But he needed to stay awake, he couldn't face the backs of his eyelids. Not again.

His whole body felt stiff as he forced himself to move. The dull ache in his lower half was still there, sending a small jolt through him at the sudden movement. He reminded himself it'd be gone soon. When it was gone he wouldn't have to think about it. He could go back to being normal, not worry anymore.

He looked a complete mess. Part of him wanted to turn away from the mirror, just go to work like this, not stare any longer. He needed to be presentable. He couldn't go in looking like _this._ There were shadows forming beneath his eyes, deep circles, standing out against the pale of his flesh. His hair was a complete mess and despite how much he tried to do something with it, it never seemed to look presentable. If he went in like this, people would ask _questions_. Why he looked such a mess, like he hadn't slept at all, like _something had happened._

He growled, slamming his fist against the mirror. That wouldn't happen. He'd go in, same as always. No-one would ask questions. He'd look fine.

He froze as he reached his apartment door, a sudden strike of anxiety rippling through his body. What if that man was still out there, waiting for him? He couldn't take the long route, he was going to be late enough as it was. He'd have to pass that street, where it had happened. Would anyone even notice that something had happened? "Nothing is going to change." He spoke to himself, pushing down on his apartment door. "You're fine."

It was cold outside. The familiar wind nipped at him the moment he stepped out. _You're fine._ He repeated to himself in his mind. He was. He was going to work, just like any other day. His chest felt tight, his jaw tense. _You're fine._ Just walk. He stared at his feet, wiling himself to relax. Calm down his breathing, stop panicking. Nothing bad was going to happen.

He'd expected the anxiety to melt away when he reached the station. It was a place of safety after all. Why was his heart still hammering so madly in his chest? Why was he still so damn tense? _You're fine!_ His minds' words were harsher this time, he clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms. He was ten minutes late, no-one would notice that, right? No-one would wonder why he'd taken so long. Why he couldn't even open the damn door- "Mako?" His entire body flinched and the hammering in his chest grew wilder.

He turned around, _please don't say anything._ "Sorry I'm late Chief."

Lin stared at him, expression unreadable. "You look like shit."

His mind went numb and he averted his gaze, looking back down at the ground. "W-woke up late." He hoped it would suffice. That the stutter would be taken as too much coffee. He smelt like coffee.

Lin raised an eyebrow. "That's unlike you." Her eyes were scanning him, picking out every little detail, every flaw in his appearance. "Rough night?"

His eyes darted back up at her, he swallowed wordlessly. _Speak._ "Uh, yeah. Trouble sleeping."

Lin nodded. Although he wouldn't be surprised if she'd read him like an open book and didn't believe a word he had said. "Don't show up late again. I was hoping you'd been an example to everyone else." She brushed past him, walking inside the building.

Mako watched her back retreating into the distance. He needed to go in. She'd be even more suspicious if he stayed outside. He set a quick course toward his office, ignoring the eyes of his colleagues. He just wanted to get his work done, that was all. Maybe he'd even stay overnight, anything to busy his mind.

The day went by quicker than he would have liked, he'd breezed through the paper work, a file ready to hand in of the details of his case. He set work on another one. It had distracted him, mostly. At least until it had begun to get late and he could see darkness out the windows. The horrible sense of dread began creeping up on him again. It was alright. He'd work over night. He wouldn't have to go home.

"Go home Mako." A hand on his shoulder and then sudden noise were enough to make him jump out of his skin, setting his nerves on edge again. Chief Beifong stood over him, an expression of mild concern on her face. "You're exhausted."

"I want to work on this case." He said hesitantly.

"You just started it. Work on it in the morning." He could feel the dread spreading up his body, beginning to invade the edges of his mind. "And tone down on the coffee, you drink anymore and you'll give yourself a heart attack." She was gesturing to the empty cups littering his desk and Mako shrunk down into his seat, a heavy weight of embarrassment pressing on him.

He couldn't argue back. What was he supposed to say? That he was terrified of going home? That even the thought of leaving the building made him feel sick? He could feel Lin's eyes on him, her expression deepening. "Are you alright kid?"

He nodded rapidly. "Y-yeah, I'm fine." She didn't believe him, the frown on her face said that. "You're right, I'm just tired. Should probably get some sleep if I'm going to be working on this in the morning." Her frown deepened.

"What's wrong?" She _knew_. He knew she'd know. She wasn't stupid, she could see right through him as if he were transparent. He was getting tense again, he willed himself to calm down. He couldn't tell her. This was his problem, not hers. She didn't need to know. She wouldn't know.

"N-nothings wrong." He was stuttering again, he cursed himself internally. Lin's grip on his shoulder tightened. Spirits, he wasn't get out of this.

"Something is clearly bothering you. You showed up late, looking like a complete shit pile no less. Have been jumpy as all hell, and now you're reluctant to leave." _Shit, shit, shit._ "Either you tell me now, or we can take all evening to figure this out. Whatever it is, is effecting your work. And I need all my staff at their best."

He couldn't tell her. She couldn't know. What was he supposed to say? His eyes searched the room desperately for an answer, even though he knew it would be fruitless. _Calm down._ He could feel his wind pipe closing up, his heart hammering against his ribs. _She'll notice, calm down._ He was shaking, Beifong drew her hand away from him, staring at him in confusion.

"Kid?"

 _Calm down!_ Despite his minds internal yelling, he couldn't. He couldn't even breathe. _Stop!_ Beifong was staring at him. _Stop it!_ And he was having a panic attack. He could work through this. He had last night. It wasn't difficult, just breathe. _In, out._ Why wasn't it working? Beifong was speaking at him, but her words fell death to his ears. He just wanted it to stop. He just wanted everything to be normal.

He was going to have to explain and that was even scarier than what he was currently experiencing. He couldn't get so worked up and then not say anything, Lin wouldn't let him. Her loud yell of his name was enough to bring him back to his senses. He was still scared, struggling to breathe. But he was aware of her, he worried expression, the frantic tone. He'd scared her. He didn't think he'd ever seen her scared at all.

He stared at her for a long time, unsure of what to say. He swallowed thickly, easing the panic back down his throat. At least he was calming down.

" _This_ is why you need to tell me what's going on." She gestured to him, a slight fearful edge to her voice, although it clipped into irritation toward the end. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry." He didn't know what else to add. He was horribly aware to the shadows on the walls of the room however, how they crept up the walls, looming over him. He quickly cast his gaze back at Lin.

"I need an explanation."

He knew this was coming. He swallowed the rising fear. Closing his eyes briefly. He needed to clear his head. Think of a way around this. He could see the stone pavement beneath him, feel the body pressed against him, _violated._ He gasped. That wasn't real. It was over. "I can't."

"It'll be purely confidential. Just between us. No-one else has to know. Please kid, you've got me worrying about you."

 _Please just let me forget this._ "I can't." He repeated. Beifong's gaze softened in to sadness. Was she that worried? "Please don't make me."

"If it's that bad then I _need_ to know." She persisted.

She was Chief of Police. She could help him. Bring _that man_ to justice. Make sure that this wouldn't ever happen again. He _should_ be telling her. He _should_ have come to her right away. But let her know that he just _let_ someone violate him? That he didn't even fight back? He couldn't. He stared down at the desk in front of him, watching as the edges of the papers flicked as the breeze from outside ruffled them. "I was attacked." He stated suddenly, shocked at his own words.

Beifong nodded for him to continue. "Take your time if you need to."

He hesitated, should he continue? Maybe he could just say he didn't feel well, and try and go home? He'd already told her he was attacked. Might as well go through with it. "Last night." What had he gotten himself into?

AN: Well for something completely improvised, I think this came out pretty well.

If you enjoyed this latest update, please drop a review to let me know. Reviews help me stay motivated to keep writing, as well as brightening up my day. I appreciate every single one that I see.

Other than that, please enjoy this update. I hope to get the next one out soon enough.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: It's been a while since I last updated, so I'm sorry about that. I've had health issues getting in the way of things for the past few weeks, which have thankfully passed for now. But I'm back! With a new update that I plan on improvising 100% because that's what I do and I never have a clear idea for anything.

I just want to say a quick thanks for the reviews I've received, they mean a lot to me. And for that anon who was worried about the addition of Korrasami, you needn't worry too much. Ships aren't my primary intention for this fic and any I do include will be minimal and in the background.

That being said, warnings still apply. This story deals heavily with the topic of rape, so proceed with caution.

* * *

Beifong seemed eerily calm throughout the whole thing. Although, her jaw seemed to grow more and more tense as time went on, to the point where it looked like it was about to retreat into her skull. She was mad. Mako could tell that much, despite her stoic demeanour, she was absolutely livid. His stomach had been twisting in on itself the entire time he'd been sat there. Sending anxious signals to his brain, that Beifong would find the whole thing stupid. That she wouldn't believe him. That she'd tell him to go home and stop being so stupid.

She hadn't said anything like that. Gently prompting him to continue every time he paused or struggled for the next sentence. His brain was just being paranoid. He needed to learn to ignore it.

"You can stay the night if you wish." Mako looked up to meet Lin's narrowed eyes, she shuffled some papers on her desk, raising herself to stand. "Get some sleep."

He nodded. He was exhausted. He watched as Beifong stood up, a deep frown on her face. Was she leaving? Where was she going? "Where are you-" He began.

She cut him off, "-I have matters to attend to." She stated, ice in her tone. Mako had a feeling these _matters_ were related to him. He cast a worried look at her, which she caught. "I'm not doing anything stupid, don't worry." He nodded silently. "I just have some things I need to do, okay? You need to try and get some sleep."

He nodded once more. She was right. Starving himself of sleep wouldn't help. Even if every-time he closed his eyes there were _hands all over his body._ "I'll try and rest."

She pursed her lips into a thin look of approval. She left the building without another word.

* * *

Mako raised himself to his feet. He was alone. Just him. Him and the shadows on the walls, which danced in the dim light from the lanterns. Him and the anxious voice in his head that kept spilling lies. _He'll come for you._ He needed to ignore it. Stop being paranoid. He trekked into his office, shutting to door behind him. Locking it. He was fine. He was safe. He'd told someone. That alone should have been enough to ease the pressure off his chest, help him breathe easier. But he couldn't.

Each shadow on the wall was a hand, long and grotesque. Reaching, clawing out at him, trying to grasp him it's hold. He turned off the light, plunging to the room into darkness. _Just sleep it off._ He lay down on the ground, staring into the blackness. _Get some rest, you'll be fine in the morning._ His hands toyed with the ends of his shirt, running his fingers through the fabric. He could feel his heart hammering like a caged bird against his rib-cage. He willed himself to close his eyes, to relax. Stop panicking.

He let his eyelids slip shut, focusing on the blackness rather than the feeling of dread which had suddenly consumed him. _This isn't real._ Focused himself on ignoring the phantom hand which was trailing up his leg slowly, clawing at his flesh. _Go to sleep._ Rejected the feeling of nausea in his stomach as he could feel himself violated once more, rough hands pulling on his hips. He swallowed the bile in the back of his throat. None of this was real. He could sleep. _Stop._ He could feel earth creeping around his paralysed limbs, as the drunken voice whispered into his ear.

The caged bird was trying desperately to break free, beating against the insides of his chest madly. It was like someone was strangling it, crushing it, choking away it's air. He couldn't breathe. _Stop!_ He drew himself into a sitting position, hugging his knees to his chest. _Calm down._ There was hands around his lungs, squeezing the air out of him. He couldn't breathe. His eyes burned with tears, throat unbearably tight, shoulders trembling. He couldn't do this, he couldn't-

"Mako?" His eyes snapped up at the voice, frantic gaze searching for the source amongst the darkness. He hugged his shaking legs closer to his chest, burying his face into his knees. It couldn't be real. It was fake. Like everything else, none of this was real.

"Mako, open the door." He recognised the voice. Lin. Lin was back. His eyes darted toward the door. It was locked, he'd locked it. He needed to open it. Getting to his feet was a difficult task, his entire body felt like it was going to give way at any second. His mind to frantic and blurry to balance himself, he lent heavily against his desk. "Kid? You alright." The door was in his vision, wobbling in front of his eyes. His hands trembled, struggling with the lock. A satisfying click.

He stood back, dim light flooding the room. Beifong stood in the doorway, staring at him in concern. His hands instinctively reached for the desk, to balance himself. They found nothing but air.

"Mako?" Mako threw himself at her, latching on to her body. She was firm, real. It was okay. He'd be okay. He buried his face into her shoulder, sobbing. A hesitant hand made it's way to his back, trying to soothe him. "Hey, it's alright."

Spirits, he wanted it to be alright. He wanted to forget. For all of this to go away. It wouldn't. It refused to let him sleep, refused to leave him. He doubted it would ever go away.

"Calm down."

 _Calm down._ Right. _Breathe._ He was okay now. Lin was here. He wasn't alone anymore. _In, out._ His chest fell back to a normal rhythm, eyes grew dry.

"I shouldn't have left you alone." He released Lin, drawing away from her. Back into himself. "You alright?"

"I think so." He replied, startled by the shakiness in his voice.

Beifong nodded, concern still etched on her face. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

He wanted to say no. Tell her that he'd be fine. "Please."

* * *

He was exhausted in the morning. Beifong must have been too. He felt bad that he'd made her stay up with him. She left the room during early hours, to get ready for the day. Told him she'd be back shortly. He still didn't know where she'd been last night. He hoped it wasn't to do with him. It was nice to have light back in the room. It made him less anxious. He could sit, semi-comfortably on his own, without the horrible panic consuming him.

Beifong returned at roughly nine, set a cup of coffee down in front of him. "Drink up." She stated. He let his fingers wrap around the warm sides. "You didn't get much sleep last night."

"Thanks." He took a sip, savouring the strong flavour on his tongue, as the warm liquid slid down his throat.

"You're probably not going to take this well." He looked up, raising an eyebrow. There was mild worry on Lin's face. "I've been in contact with your friends. It's beneficial for someone to have a wide support group when they've been-" She paused, cutting herself off, "-Attacked, like you have."

"You, told them?" Mako asked, voice wavering with anger. He didn't want people to know. He hadn't wanted her to know.

She grimaced somewhat. "It's best that they know what happened. That they can support you the best they-"

Mako cut her off as he stood up suddenly, an angered growl tearing from the back of his throat. He couldn't listen to this. He needed out.

"Mako! Listen to me!"

He didn't want to listen. She'd told them. He wanted to get away from this. Away from here, where no-one could ever find him again.

"They understand, they're supportive."

"You had no right!"

Lin sighed. "Your brother is on his way. He said he'd be willing to look after you whilst we sort this out."

Bolin. _Bolin_ was coming? "You shouldn't have told them." He could feel his throat tightening once more as he mind grew blurred with panic.

"Mako!" Sharp words cut through his ears, Lin's hand was on his shoulder. "Look at me."

He couldn't. He shouldn't have told her. Shouldn't have-

"-You need support. Your friends can do that for you. Isolating yourself is only going to make this worse. You understand?"

Spirits he was an idiot. If he hadn't told her no-one would know. Bolin wouldn't be coming her, right now-

"-Besides, you can't stay here forever. And I sure as hell won't let you work in this state. This is for the better."

Her hand left his shoulder. He swallowed the lump which had rapidly started forming in the back of his throat. Her words falling deaf to his ears.

"-We'll bring that man to justice, alright? You can't work through this alone."

He nodded wordlessly. He couldn't fight this, couldn't just up and run away. The others were involved, whether he liked it or not. And Bolin was on his way. He just needed to pull himself together before he arrived.

* * *

AN: I honestly wasn't sure where I was going with this as I wrote it, but I think I have a few ideas now? Which is good and should hopefully mean updates are more frequent from here on out.

This chapter isn't my best quality, since I'm a bit less inspired than I first was when I started writing this fic, but hey I tried. And I don't think it's the worst.

So if you enjoyed this latest update, please consider dropping a review to let me know. It's really reassuring to see people like what I've written. And helps me stay motivated and soothe my anxiety. It really means a lot to me when I get one.

Any who, please enjoy this update.


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